Saturday, May 26, 2012

Baby Steps

“We are to make wise, careful choices as we journey  through life. Our decisions about the use of our time are to be made thoughtfully, intentionally.” --May 25, 2012 Meditation on Ephesians 5:1-20

Too much of my life I have lived unintentionally.  I have allowed so much to happen around me and to me that I feel I have failed in the past to make wise use of my time.

Sure, I work hard, and I spend many hours doing my work well;  however, I have wasted so much time.  Now on the downhill side of fifty, I see the waste.  Am I wise enough to change it?

Daily gratitude and appreciation of what I have and where I am on this journey will help.

Conscious choices of how I spend my leisure and my work hours will help.

I cannot look at the past mistakes except to learn something from them.  They were mistakes; I know that now.  The important point is to examine what I am doing today, this moment.  Am I using this hour of my life well, thoughtfully and intentionally?

I am gravely guilty of spending hours in front of the television, lost in ridiculous, mind-numbing waste.  At this moment I am listening to and watching the Goat Rodeo Sessions, a wonderful broadcast of creative music-making by four expert musicians.  I am writing and thinking at the same time.  It may not be my best choice to multi-task though.

I am not giving my full attention to either of my current endeavors. 

This morning when I read this meditation, I thought that I would spend some time writing today, since that is something that I tried to start doing a few years ago and gave up on quickly.  The day has progressed and I have not written.  I have filled my day with busy-ness.  What was good about it?  Work, groceries, caring for animals, volunteering for animals, helping someone else have a good weekend, seeing my son as he progresses in his recovery, visiting with my parents, planning a birthday celebration for my friends—yeah, all good stuff.  But then I found myself sitting in front of the TV watching junk.

I remembered my early morning thought about writing, thank God, in the nick of time before I fell asleep.  Grabbed the laptop, change the channel to something I really wanted to see.  Now what?  I should focus on one or the other, right?  No, not yet.  I am going to have to work on focus, but not tonight.  I am writing.  I am enjoying the music without paying complete attention to it.  OK, I am at least thinking about the best way to live my life.  I can still learn and improve.  Baby steps, my friend.

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