Baby Steps

“We are to make wise, careful choices as we journey  through life. Our decisions about the use of our time are to be made thoughtfully, intentionally.” --May 25, 2012 Meditation on Ephesians 5:1-20

Too much of my life I have lived unintentionally.  I have allowed so much to happen around me and to me that I feel I have failed in the past to make wise use of my time.

Sure, I work hard, and I spend many hours doing my work well;  however, I have wasted so much time.  Now on the downhill side of fifty, I see the waste.  Am I wise enough to change it?

Daily gratitude and appreciation of what I have and where I am on this journey will help.

Conscious choices of how I spend my leisure and my work hours will help.

I cannot look at the past mistakes except to learn something from them.  They were mistakes; I know that now.  The important point is to examine what I am doing today, this moment.  Am I using this hour of my life well, thoughtfully and intentionally?

I am gravely guilty of spending hours in front of the television, lost in ridiculous, mind-numbing waste.  At this moment I am listening to and watching the Goat Rodeo Sessions, a wonderful broadcast of creative music-making by four expert musicians.  I am writing and thinking at the same time.  It may not be my best choice to multi-task though.

I am not giving my full attention to either of my current endeavors. 

This morning when I read this meditation, I thought that I would spend some time writing today, since that is something that I tried to start doing a few years ago and gave up on quickly.  The day has progressed and I have not written.  I have filled my day with busy-ness.  What was good about it?  Work, groceries, caring for animals, volunteering for animals, helping someone else have a good weekend, seeing my son as he progresses in his recovery, visiting with my parents, planning a birthday celebration for my friends—yeah, all good stuff.  But then I found myself sitting in front of the TV watching junk.

I remembered my early morning thought about writing, thank God, in the nick of time before I fell asleep.  Grabbed the laptop, change the channel to something I really wanted to see.  Now what?  I should focus on one or the other, right?  No, not yet.  I am going to have to work on focus, but not tonight.  I am writing.  I am enjoying the music without paying complete attention to it.  OK, I am at least thinking about the best way to live my life.  I can still learn and improve.  Baby steps, my friend.