Monday, July 5, 2010

Dramatic Ponderings/Ramblings July 1st, 2010

There must be a reason…

I’ve heard it and I believe it, “When one door closes, another opens.”

Best laid plans…

I keep getting these messages from God that now is not the time for me to take off for the month of July. And lately I’m getting flack about plans for August—my previously made commitments for August are conflicting with travel plans I want to make.

I better just settle into the idea that there is a reason for me to be here—I have work to do here, work that I would so happily and easily neglect given half a chance to go somewhere else.

What is it about going somewhere else that so entices me? Somewhere= anywhere in most cases…just give me a chance to GO.

And what is it about staying here that does not call me?

I must ponder these questions. What could I be searching for over there? Is it something that I cannot find here?

New people, new music, new vistas, new experiences, new friends, new foods, new art, new fun. I should be able to find those things right here if I would only get out of my rut.

I want to go somewhere else because I cannot conceive of anything new or interesting coming out of my everyday life here. It is harder to change when surrounded by the everyday—so easy to remain in bad habits.

However, I cannot go to the places I want to—not right now anyway. I must stay here and get my work done. There is physical work I need to do, of course. There is probably also some emotional and spiritual work to be done as well.

Perhaps in my busyness and travel I am avoiding the real issues that are most important to my happiness. What ARE those issues? What do I do now?

Negative thoughts, feelings of apathy or fear—I must shed these.

Then again, maybe the travel and busyness are my happiness. I am soooo confused.

I want to go to another music festival over the 4th weekend…Really Karen, $300+ for two days of music in Virginia? Or stay here and get the back yard cleaned up? Okay, I really need to spend some time with friends. I really need to get in touch with reality here. Staycation, try it you might like it. MAYBE.

July 5th, 2010—I stayed home. I worked all week finishing up the GED classes and paperwork. I started cleaning up the garden before the weeds began eating my house. Still more work to do, but I made a good dent.

The best part—and the reason I was meant to stay here—Saturday night all three of my sons came over and we cooked out in my back yard. ALL THREE.

Take note, my friends with young children…When our children get older, their lives become just as busy and complicated as ours. It is often impossible to get everyone together. I am lucky that my boys all live near me, but still we very rarely get together all at once. Someone always has to work. And their mom does love to travel, so she takes off on her own adventures frequently. My habits are as much to blame for missing this family time.

That evening with the boys was laid-back--chatting around a fire, cooking some burgers, and no one rushing of to go somewhere. Precious time with adult children. There really was a reason to staycation this weekend.

As an added bonus, I spent the 4th with my bestest friends cooking out and watching fireworks from the highest point in Butler County, their back yard.

So it was about work, family, and friends. Adventure will be there, next week maybe.

Yes, I do love to travel, and I will continue to go away as often as I can. I just know that sometimes my need to leave is not always the best choice.

Ideally, someday, I will have a partner to share my travels, someone who will be my family and best friend. Until then, I have Lucky Dog and Happy Cat for the road, I have my work to keep me grounded, and I have my friends and family to share my dreams.

1 comment:

  1. Isn't it amazing that we are just exactly where we're supposed to be? (Even if it IS in hot, humid Hamilton!) Love your blog!